I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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