i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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