oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
