this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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