real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
