so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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