Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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