You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
