I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
