We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
it's like iHOP with fire
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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