you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
