Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
