Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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