I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
