I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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