Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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