Girls should come with a carfax report
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
