Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
