Don't you send me to vm
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
