Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Randomize
