You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I FOUND THE LEGS
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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