HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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