It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize