can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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