it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
