Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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