definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
