Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
is it fun? or sober?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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