you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
