What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
