I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
