shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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