Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
