The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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