I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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