it's great music for shaving your balls
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
