Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
True strength comes from lack of pants
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
