Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
