i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just want to make out with him forever
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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