After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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