My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize