I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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