from now on my penis is your penis
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
