You're my little dorito
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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