I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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