He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
