it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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