Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize