you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
