you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
