sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize