also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
