I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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