So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
