Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize
