me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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