i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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