That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
