if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
