He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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