She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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