I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
