OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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