Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
