New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
