Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
