My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
