the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
