watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
